Lucio Gets Humiliated
by Kream45
Summary: All of Lucio's friends found out about his dirty secret. He's not very pleased about it, as you could imagine, and he decides to end his misery.


**/This story is very serious. Really. This is not a shitpost. Wait, hear me out nigga, I said that this story is serious and you should take it seriously. You'll see in just a second that the writing skill in this one is so advanced that it can't possibly be another stupid crackfic./**

Lucio was sitting on the toilet, stretching his anus muscles very hard, to make the shit come out. He's eaten too many rocks earlier that day and now was the time of regret.

 **/Okay I lied, this is a shitpost HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHASDFAIOSFNAHDOF GOTCHA BITCH! Who would have thought that this was all a lie?/**

So yeah Lucio finished shitting. He wiped his ass with an unusually large amount of toilet paper and then he smelled his fingers. They smelled just right. Then he got up and flushed the shit away. Just before the shit was forever gone in the sewer world, he looked at it for the final time and said softly 'farewell', for he will not see that shit ever again.

You see, Lucio was really nostalgic and sentimental about this kind of stuff. That's why he liked to touch himself in the night. Wait, that makes no sense, scratch th-

O-kayyy, let's do this one more time ***cough***. Lucio left the toilet and grabbed his favorite Magic: The Gathering decks. Yes, this game still exists at the time when Lucio is alive. Actually, who gives a shit. Anyway, he grabbed three of his favorite decks, ones that he tuned and mastered throughout the years.

He put them in his backpack, also he threw in some dice and a few cans of whipped cream, just in case.

Now, this is the time where you, the reader, should ask himself: "Why the fuck am I reading this?" But you should rather ask: "Who wrote this shit and why?" The answer is that I'm a retard.

But back to our BOI Lucio, he grabbed the backpack and went to the local game store to meet his friends.

When he got there, he was greeted by everyone. He was famous after all. He was listed on the "Top 10 Brazilian Child Molesters", though only at the 6 spot.

"Lucioo, my nigga, come'ere!" Michael, the owner of the store pulled Lucio towards him and gave him a big, crushing, non-gay hug, "Nice to see you! You've been gone for like two weeks! Where have you been?"

"Well…" Lucio tried to come up with an answer, since he really didn't want Michael to know about his true reason of absence, which was that he's been stroking his black dick all this time, "I was sick."

"Well I hope you're fine now, because your friends are here waiting for you at the table over there." Michael showed him the table, "I like it that you lot meet in my store. Thanks to you being black, I've got plenty of people coming to see that famous Lucio the BLACK."

"No problem Michael, thank you for your kind words!" Lucio said and approached his friends.

"Lucio you fucking nig, you were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." Junkrat said.

"Hey give him a break, he's been sick for two weeks." Mercy told him off, "Sit down Lucio, we're gonna play our favorite multiplayer Magic game."

"Yeah, take out your decks already." Tracer said while shuffling her deck.

"Alright faggots, let's play this BITCH." Lucio took out his decks and grabbed one of them.

"You still play those?" Junkrat asked, "You've been playing with these decks for years, you sure you don't want to mix things up a bit?"

"Nah man, I love my angel tribal decks." Lucio replied.

"That reminds me, I always wanted to ask you this." Mercy said, "Why are you only playing with Angels?"

"Umm…" Lucio scratched his scrotum, "That's because angels are cool?"

"You only play them because angel cards depict beautiful women with loose clothing." Tracer stated.

"That ain't true, nigga." Lucio denied, "They have wings and they're powerful, what else there is to it? Besides, even though all of my decks are all angels, the strategy is different with each one."

"Admit it now, Lucio. You're masturbating to angel pictures, m I rite?" Junkrat laughed.

"N-no?! What are you, gay? Of course not, pfft!"

"Lucio, it's okay, we knew that from the start." Mercy said and smiled, "Just be aware that if you only masturbate to angels, you're not gonna like the fact that they don't exist."

"Mercy, you're aware that you look like an angel and you dress like an angel and your fucking name is Angela?" Tracer noticed.

"Alright guys, that's it." Lucio got up in RAGE, "I've had enough of your bullshit."

"Nigga chill, we just playin' with you man." Junkrat said, while imitating a true nigger's voice and accent.

"Yes, calm down Lucio." Mercy said calmly.

"Hey guys, Lucio faps to pictures of fictional divine beings!" Tracer shouted and suddenly, everyone started laughing at Lucio.

Lucio activated his rage mode and released deadly ass fumes from, as you could've guessed it, his 10-inch wide anus. Everyone died, so Lucio could escape and nobody would find out.

Unfortunately, after he returned, he realized that the info has SPREAD all over the world like ebola in Africa. Everyone has found out about his dirty little secret.

Lucio was very sad because of that. He decided to end his life.

But not before one final fap to Linvala, Keeper of Silence. And one more to Avacyn, Angel of Hope. Oh, and one to Restoration Angel. Actually, why stick to his favorite trio? He fapped to _every single_ angel in the game, since he collected all Angels. He came on the cards and then he did it again and again.

There was so much cum everywhere that it was not possible to move around his room anymore. He grabbed his semen-coated Angel collection and jumped out of the window. This way he could ensure that he will die together with his lovely ones.

However, he forgot that there was no falling damage in Overwatch HEH KEK! What a faggot!

"Goddamn it, this sucks!" he exclaimed, "Nigga can't even kill himself in this shitty world!"

And then some KKK member approached him.

"I can help you with that m8." He said.

"Oh that's cool c: " Lucio smiled, "Put a bullet to my head if you can."

"Unfortunately, I don't have a gun on me :/ " KKK guy said, "But I do have this umbrella."

"Hmmm…"

Then, after a lot of screaming, pain and tears, KKK guy opened the umbrella inside Lucio's asshole. That lead to a giant explosion, which destroyed Lucio's ass, killing him in the process. As well as the whole world, due to the sudden release of the farts he accumulated in his ass.

Lucio was finally dead, hurray!

Lucio woke up in heaven :O there were angels everywhere, they were flyin' and shit! Wowzies!

"Oh my DAYUM, this is EXACTLY what I imagined heaven to be like!" he exclaimed.

Some angels overheard his shout of excitement, and flew over to him.

"Hello mister, are you Lucio?" one of them asked, "The man who's been masturbating to angels all his life?"

"That's me, baby!" Lucio said in a very high-pitched voice. He was so excited. He watched too much hentai in his life.

"Well, we have a reward to all who like angels." The angel smiled and then a herd of angels grabbed him and raised him high up the ground.

Lucio thought there was gonna be an orgy centered around him. And yes, that happened. But not exactly how he imagined…

After being fisted for twenty days straight, Lucio was long unconscious from the pain. The angels threw him in a cage full of crocodiles, and that was the end of Lucio.

Wait, wasn't he supposed to be dead already?

WHATEVER, he might as well be DOUBLE DEAD! Take THAT, anyone who thinks fanfictions are supposed to make sense.

 **THE END**

Disclaimer: I don't fap to mtg angels :O so don't be askin' me that, nigs.

Also, I wanted to remind you that you're a human and you live on Earth.

Also, the usage of the word "nigger" in this story is not because I'm racist, but because I really wish I was black. Black people can move around quietly and unseen in the night, which makes them great rouges. Also, they have access to black magic, as well as a boost to stamina. #facts


End file.
